What is hateful to you, do not do to another; that is the entire Torah, and the rest is commentary. Go study! – Shabbat 31a
All users of JAQ spaces and resources are expected to abide by this code of conduct.
We are a Queer Jewish space. If you think you might belong, you do. You are Queer enough. All Queers are valid, including but not limited to: Ace, Bi, Agender, Non-binary, Trans, Lesbian, Questioning and Gay people.
You are Jewish enough. All Jews are valid – from any traditions, with any ancestry, by choice, by patrilineal or matrilineal birth or adoption. From secular to frum, we’re all siblings and are all welcome.
Gentiles, allies and straight partners, friends, and family are welcome to respectfully participate.
A primary goal of all the activities and groups that refer to this Code of Conduct is to be inclusive to the largest number of queer Jews, with the most varied and diverse backgrounds possible. As such, we are committed to providing a friendly, safe and welcoming environment for all, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, physical appearance, body size, national origin, race, ethnicity, class and other personal conditions and choices.
We wish to enact our values, including Solidarity (Ahva), Joy (Simha), Respect (Kavod), Trustworthyness (Eminut), Community (Kehillah), Learning, (Chinuch), Privacy (Pratiyut), Modeling (Dugma Eesheet), Responsibility (Achrayut), our responsibility to the Earth (Shomrei Adamah), and Work to Make a Better World (Tikkun Olam).
In living these values, we will choose venues and platforms that are free of surveillance capitalism and which are accessible.
This Code of Conduct outlines our expectations for all those who participate in our community, as well as the consequences for unacceptable behaviour.
We invite all those who participate in our events to help us create safe and positive experiences for everyone.
Expected Behaviour
- Participate in an authentic and active way. In doing so, you contribute to the health and longevity of this community.
- Exercise consideration and respect in your speech and actions.
- Attempt collaboration before conflict.
- Refrain from demeaning, discriminatory, or harassing behaviour and speech.
- It is sometimes vital to discuss the words of people who wish us harm, but we must avoid doing the work of our enemies for them – be mindful of what gets shared and how and provide context and warnings to allow others to opt out.
- Please avoid making assumptions. If you aren’t aware of what someone’s gender is, and you can’t figure out what pronoun to use, just ask.
- Please ask before touching anyone at our events. It’s easy, and the worst thing that happens is someone says no! That includes hugging – you might not know that it makes some people uncomfortable, but it does, so please ask first.
- Be mindful of your surroundings and the other participants. Alert community leaders if you notice a dangerous situation, someone in distress, or violations of this Code of Conduct, even if they seem inconsequential.
Unacceptable Behaviour
Unacceptable behaviours include: proselytising Jews to convert to other faiths; intimidating, harassing, abusive, discriminatory, intentional misgendering, derogatory or demeaning speech or actions by any participant in our community online, at events, or in one-on-one communications. Community event venues may be shared with members of the public; please be respectful to all patrons of these locations.
Harassment includes:
- harmful or prejudicial verbal or written comments related to gender, trans status, sexual orientation, physical appearance, body size, ability, race, ethnicity, class, citizenship status, national origin, religion (or lack thereof) and other personal conditions and choices
- trolling, i.e. sustained disruption of conversations, talks or other events
- nonconsensual photography or recording
- deliberate intimidation, stalking or following
- nonconsensual physical contact
- unwelcome sexual attention
- microaggressions, i.e. small, subtle, often subconscious actions that marginalize people from oppressed groups
- minimizing other people’s experiences
We have no discussion about how your behaviour was meant. What we care about is how it makes our participants feel. Please just respect that if one of the participants is hurt by your behaviour, it is on you to change it or leave.
Consequences of Unacceptable Behaviour
Unacceptable behaviour from any community member, including moderators, will not be tolerated. Anyone asked to stop unacceptable behaviour is expected to stop immediately.
If a community member engages in unacceptable behaviour, the event or platform moderators may take any action they deem appropriate, up to and including a temporary ban or permanent expulsion from the community without warning (and without refund in the case of a paid event).
If You Witness or Are Subject to Unacceptable Behaviour
If you are subject to or witness unacceptable behaviour, feel someone is being treated disrespectfully, or have any other concerns, point out the problem to any member you feel comfortable talking to as soon as possible. If you don’t know who to talk to, get in touch with one of the admins of the Signal group.
In the context of a threat to safety at in-person events, moderators will also provide escorts as desired by the person experiencing distress.
Addressing Grievances
If you feel you have been falsely or unfairly accused of violating this Code of Conduct, you should notify one of the moderators via email or in person with a concise description of your grievance.
Scope
We expect all community participants to abide by this Code of Conduct in all community venues—online and in-person—as well as in all one-on-one communications pertaining to community business. We expect everyone to refrain from unacceptable behaviour both inside and outside the community.
Why a CoC?
By creating this CoC, we help foster a safer space which “might be less about an absolute security in which there is no risk, no pain and no difficult conversations, but rather more about a redistribution of the risks and discomforts of speaking and organizing” (Dreher 2009,p.17).
We would prefer to live in a society where we do not need Codes of Conduct. However, Codes of Conduct are essential to establish spaces that are different from – and more inclusive than – general society. If you don’t set up your own rules, you implicitly endorse those prevalent in society – including the unwritten ones – many of which we recognize as unfair to many people. When privileges are not explicitly addressed by the ethos of a space, the burden of education will often be placed upon the people who are living the oppressions. Moreover, since we still perform – consciously or unconsciously – behaviours that have oppressive potential (i.e. patriarchal, racist, sexist, capitalist, (neo)colonialist, etc.), it is essential to reflect on our privileges and on the ways in which they have an impact on our lives and the lives of others.
A code of conduct can help do just that: to bring awareness, consciousness, reflexivity and ultimately tikkun olam.
It is not your responsibility to finish the work, but neither are you free to desist from it. – Pikei Avot 2
Licence and Attribution
This Code of Conduct is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike license. It is based on the Queer Code CoC, with some content from Babka.social’s values statement, Thanks, people, for the wonderful work ♥
References: Dreher, T. (2009). “Eavesdropping with permission: the politics of listening for safer speaking spaces.” Borderlands ejournal, 8(1), 1-29.